For all of you who are giggling over the whole GOP flak about contraception -- and, more specifically, who pays for it -- here's an easy solution that won't add a dime to the taxpayers' burden. It's a contraceptive trick as old as ancient Rome, at least.
First, get one lemon, a half-pint of virgin olive oil, a bowl, a tablespoon, a sieve, an egg-whisk, and a sharp knife. Note that five of these items are often included in welfare special allotments under the title of "household goods", and the other two can be bought with food stamps.
First, take the knife and cut the lemon in half, through the bulgy waist. Take the sieve and place it in the bowl. Take the spoon and scoop out the pulp from one lemon-half, and dump it in the sieve. Trim the ends of the lemon-cup smooth. Squeeze the juice through the sieve and toss away the drained pulp. Take the egg-whisk, start slowly pouring the olive oil into the lemon juice, and beat the mixture vigorously. When it forms a foam about as thick as whipped cream, stop pouring the oil. Spoon the foam into the empty lemon-cup.
Stick the foam-loaded lemon-cup up your, ahem, vagina until it fits snugly over the neck of the cervix (like a classic Dutch Cap diaphragm). Spoon the rest of the foam into the vagina after the lemon-cup. Then go have sex. You'll have to replace the lemon-cup and its contents for every bout of sex, but lemons -- and olive-oil -- are relatively cheap. The lemon-juice-and-oil mix will not only kill sperm but will kill lots of known bacteria and viri as well. It's an inconvenient method, but a cheap and effective one.
Best of all, this method is totally "natural", "organic", and "non-hormonal"; even the Pope would have a hard time finding fault with it. ...Not that some fundamentalists won't try, of course.
--Leslie <;)))>< )O(