Saturday, June 29, 2013

Gay Marriage and Straight

       Have you all been following the hoo-raw about the Supreme Court's decision to strike down the federal Defense of Marriage Act?  The Democrats are cheering about freedom and equality, and the Republicans are glooming about the downfall of America and making historically inaccurate comparisons to ancient Rome.  (Just for the record, ancient Rome -- like Greece, Mycenae, Crete and Egypt before it -- was a sexually relaxed culture;  sex for pure pleasure wasn't frowned on but celebrated, and so long as women produced enough babies to keep the population steady, they didn't care what else people did.  All those societies were eventually brought down by political, economic and environmental factors that had nothing to do with their sex-lives.)
        But anyway, in all this squalling, the commentary that impressed me the most was Rasty's.  Yes, I could call him something of an expert on the subject of marriage, seeing that he had three other wives before he hooked up with me.  His opinion is:
       "Sure, let Gays get married!  Let 'em find out what it's really like.  All the rest of us who want to live together, and join fortunes and all, have to saddle ourselves with the obligations and responsibilities and legal fancy-dancing we call 'holy matrimony'.  And if, further down the pike, we find we've made a mistake and want to undo it before any more harm gets done, we've got to go through the even worse hassle known as unholy divorce.  Why should Gays get a free pass?
       "Sure, all you leather-boys and lezzie-girls out there, go ahead and hitch yourselves.  Learn the fun of being hit up for each others' debts, smacked down for each others' bad credit, hassled by the cops for what each other did during that boozed-up party or drunk night on the town, finding the joint bank-account empty because the other saw something in a store window that they just couldn't live without.  Yeah, think about that before you go down to the local meet-rack and pick up a hot honey for the night;  now, thanks to the Supremes, you're likely to wake up in the morning talking baby-talk and making Mormonesque promises of forever, and you can easily make the thundering mistake of running out to the nearest wedding-chapel before you have time to sober up and think.  Once you're hooked, you're good and hooked, and you've gone and done it to yourselves.  So listen up: you better start watching your fun, because your free ride is over."
--Leslie <;)))><   )O(         


Ori Pomerantz said...

Yes, I could call him something of an expert on the subject of marriage, seeing that he had three other wives before he hooked up with me.

How many of those marriages ended in divorce? If the answer is close to three, may I suggest that your husband's marriage expertise is somewhat specialized, like the architecture expertise of a demolition man or the accounting skills of a forensic auditor?

For a man with that track record to have agreed to marry you is a great compliment. But Joe Bethancourt might be a better expert on marriage.

Paradoctor said...

For every up, a down. Of course marriage is a risk.

And what's more, I bet that pretty soon the smarter fundamentalists will start pressuring gays and lesbians to get married.

Leslie Fish said...

Hi, Ori. Heheheheh. Yes, they all ended in divorce, which is why he has so many nasty things to say about it. As for track records, I'd give the palm to the Creaseys: members of those 50% of all marriages that do NOT end in divorce.

Hi, Nat. *Snicker* Way back when the AIDs scare first hit, the Fundies happily hollered that this was God's Punishment for being Gay. Then straights started showing up with AIDs, and the Fundies were obliged to change their tune; now they blamed the Promiscuous Lifestyle. Well, a lot of Gays took that to heart, and decided that they really wanted to find their true loves and settle down, like everybody else. You'd think the Fundies would be pleased! But oh no, not them. They don't want Gays to get married, or have sex, or even exist. Well, tough. Gays have been getting married, even in churches; there are some religious factions that aren't as bigoted as the Fundies. If the Fundies do accept the inevitable and quit bitching about Gays marrying, I daresay they still won't allow it in THEIR church. Not, of course, that the Gays will care. Heh!

Anonymous said...

The problem with gay marriage is that it leads straight to gay divorce court. Considering what kind of werewolves straights turn into when the Big D enters the picture, and considering that a longtime friend who's now a big city cop for his sins (I think he must have sinned against the Holy Ghost) tells me that the most spectacular, baroque domestic murders he's ever seen were between gay couples) I think that many gays will end up bitterly regretting this "victory."

windmills said...

Speaking purely for myself, I have no intention of ever asking the government for a license to exercise a fundamental right, whether it be to own a gun or start a family. I believe the ninth and tenth amendments cover this fairly clearly. Why is my national government in the business of blessing marriages in the first place?

Leslie Fish said...

Hi, Raven. Then again, this might make quick-easy No Fault Divorce the norm in all 50 states.

Hi, Wind. Why indeed? For that matter, what real cause does any govt. have to exist in the first place?

Unfortunately, until we can make some major changes, we'll be stuck with govts. for awhile yet.

Ori Pomerantz said...

Then again, this might make quick-easy No Fault Divorce the norm in all 50 states.

Is it a good idea to make breaking promises easy? Couples that don't want to make promises can already live together.