Saturday, December 26, 2015

A Humane Solution to the Immigration Problem

Merry Christmas, with its attendant wish for peace and goodwill to everyone.

The problem is that there are a lot of people who don't believe in any of that, and we don't know exactly who and where they are.  Yes, I mean those tens of thousands of "Syrian" refugees, as well as other refugees moving into Europe and America with not-so-benign intent.  Here in Arizona we've had close to 100,000 illegal refugees per year running across our border from Mexico, and we've seen the trouble they cause once they get here.  Now it's clearly bigoted and unconstitutional to ban some people from coming to America because of their religion, race, or ethnicity, so how do we keep out the Bad Guys?

Well, there's a simple and perfectly lawful way to do it;  stop all immigration to the US, from everywhere, completely.

Yes, that includes people who claim that they're in danger if they don't get out of where they are.  We can politely route them to somewhere else, some place that's willing to take them in: other Muslim countries for the "Syrian" refugees, other Latino countries for the Mexican ones, Taiwan (or any other Asian country with a large Chinese population) for the ones from China, and so on.  We can even afford to quietly bribe those countries to take them, which should make them a bit more willing.

Yes, we have good reason -- beyond the terrorist problem -- for stopping all immigration;  the US now has the third largest population in the world, we're close to the limit of the carrying-capacity of our land and water, not to mention social services, and we just plain can't take in all the distressed people in the world.

What's more, we should get serious about rounding up all the illegal immigrants (there may be as many as 12 million of them) already here, and send them off to whatever country will have them.  As I've said before, by all means let them take with them all the goodies they've gotten and all the money they've made here in Goody-Land.  In fact, we should give each of them -- man, woman, and child -- a parting-gift: one sturdy revolver, .38 caliber at least, along with five boxes of ammunition, a cleaning kit, and an instruction book (profusely illustrated) printed in the refugees' own language.  After all, they'll need some way to protect what cash and goodies they have when they get to where they're going.

In the case of the Muslim immigrants, specifically, instead of armament for a parting-gift, we should give each of them a suit of clean white clothes (suitable for a pilgrim), $100 for the necessary bribes, and send them off to that one place in the world where all Muslims supposedly want to go at least once in a lifetime: Mecca.  Even the notorious World Opinion will have a hard time complaining about sending Muslims to Mecca.

In any case, we should take thorough biometric readings -- photos, fingerprints, retinal prints, DNA -- of each departing emigrant -- send the same to a central database that every border-patrol agent and cop in the country can tap into, send off the departees with exit visas but no passports, and make certain that they never come back.  As to how their new host countries treat them, well, that's their business;  we will have done our best for them.

--Leslie <;)))><


Anonymous said...

I've thought this was a good idea for quite a while. Unfortunately, most specimens of Boobus Americanus are heavily indoctrinated from youth with treacly propaganda about Ellis Island, happy immigrants weeping to see the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor, and that pestilential poem by Emma Lazarus, may her bones burn green.

I would go even farther and allow no non-citizens to enter, no matter what. Married to a US citizen? Tough luck, go back. They'll kill you if you go back? Tough luck, go back. Otherwise, if we allow one exception, everybody else will scream "Why him/her and not me?" I also do think the Tokugawa Shoguns had some excellent ideas.

Leslie Fish said...

You've gotta remember that the immigration scene (and the population) was very different a century ago. The big immigration push began after the Civil War, when America's big industries were taking off and needed a lot of working stiffs. Now there were a lot of ex-slaves heading to the industrial northern cities looking for work, but the bosses didn't want them -- and not just because they were Nee-groes. It was because the first labor unions in America were founded before the Revolution, and the concept was widespread through even the poorest of the American poor. The bosses sent agents to Europe to lure desperate folk here, assuming that those foreigners didn't know about unions and all spoke different languages, so they couldn't talk to each other anyway. Well, they found out the hard way that they were wrong; those European immigrants weren't always ignorant, certainly weren't stupid, and seriously wanted to become Americans. Thus began the great Labor Wars, which didn't end until after WWII, after which the children and grandchildren of those immigrants were thoroughly American.

The immigrants we're getting now are a very different breed. They don't want to become Americans; they want to stay as they are and take over. Besides, compare American's population a century ago, and now. The situation is very different not.

No, I wouldn't send emergency cases back where they came from; I'd send them to some bleeding-heart countries that are happy to prove how wonderfully tolerant and multi-cultural they are by taking in the poor-poor victims of circumstance. Make them put their money where their mouths are.

Anonymous said...

The big rush of blacks to the North didn't begin till World War One cut off foreign immigration, for the most part.

Leslie Fish said...

No, actually, Blacks began moving north right after the Civil War. They also moved west, which is where those Black cowboys came from. Not all of them made it all the way north, but the move started then. Yes, there was an added rush after WWI -- and during it, when there was a clamoring need for workers in the war-plants -- but that was a bulge in a continuing flow.

Anonymous said...

While there were blacks who moved north or west before the nineteen-teens, the big rush North began in the wake of, among other things, the boll weevil destroying the cotton crops and setting off a wave of lynchings. Look up J.C. Furnas' Good Times, a social history of the period 1914-1929, sometime. He goes into detail about how, when and why...and the horrified reaction of established Northern black communities to a lot of the newcomers.

KateGladstone said...

Your solution for Muslims wouldn't even be that expensive — since the approved "suit of clean white clothes" for the last leg of the journey to Mecca is not so much a "suit" but a large rectangle of chore cloth, worn as a toga — the sole (and unisex) garb of a Muslim approaching the goal of his/her mandated pilgrimage. (Don't ask me why a toga — without a veil or any other head/face covering — is quite all right and deemed adequately modest for Muslim women as well as men, if they're wearing it on the way to Mecca but presumably not at other times. I am not a scholar of Muslim law.)