Sunday, November 19, 2017

"I AM NOT A GUILTY LIBERAL"



© 2009  (ttto “The 'I Was Not A Nazi' Polka”)
            by Leslie Fish

(I really think that this one needs to be broadcast, right now)


I will not bow down and kiss your ass because it's Black,
Because I am not a guilty Liberal.
I don't think that dirty words are equal to attack,
Because I am not a Bourgeois Liberal.
I believe that everyone deserves an equal chance,
But not that you get special coddling just 'cause you can't dance,
And I don't think skin color puts a tiger in your pants,
Because I am not a whiny Liberal.

I don't think that killing Gays is worse than killing Straights,
Because I am not a guilty Liberal,
Or that crime and punishment depend on who you hate,
Because I am not a Bourgeois Liberal.
If you break your neighbor's skull, it doesn't count that you
Went at him 'cause he's Gay, or Black, a Vegan or a Jew.
I'll hang you all the same, purely because of what you do,
Because I am not a whiny Liberal.

I don't think that passion is a substitute for facts,
Because I am not a guilty Liberal,
Or loving God or animals excuses stupid acts,
Because I am not a Bourgeois Liberal.
So trash a doctors' lab because they do abortions there,
Or just to liberate the mice – frankly, I don't care.
In either case, I'll whip your ass and strip your wallet bare,
Because I am not a whiny Liberal.

I don't think that foreigners are holier than we,
Because I am not a guilty Liberal,
Or that foaming terrorists deserve my sympathy,
Because I am not a Bourgeois Liberal.
I don't care if Allah said the world should run your way,
Or killing Jews or Christians is the virtue of the day.
You come for me, you moron, and I'll blow your ass away,
Because I am not a whiny Liberal.

I don't think that people owning weapons is a sin,
Because I am not a guilty Liberal.
I don't think that any kind of sex lets Satan in,
Because I am not a Bourgeois Liberal.
I don't care which party tops or bottoms out the list.
Stupidities of both of them have left me more than pissed.
The antics of the Left and Right made me an Anarchist!
That's why I am not a whiny Liberal.


--Leslie <;)))><  
 

5 comments:

Spearcarrier said...

Okay I'll be right over to hear you play this. ;-)

Technomad said...

Brava! I bet Lee Gold would blow her top to hear this one! (I've heard she is, shall we say, Not Fond of opinions that differ from hers)

jimf said...

Excellent song Leslie! A parody of a parody...

Paradoctor said...

How about its mirror image: "I Am Not A Prideful Conservative". I won't excuse war crimes even if they're from the troops that we paid for; I won't call a pedophilic sex assaulter a good Christian gentleman; huge deficits are huge deficits even from Republicans; Nazis and white supremacists are what they say they are even if they vote for tax cuts on yachts; there are no alternative facts; and so on.

The difficulty with writing such a song is that while self=guilt is comic, self-pride is tragic.

Leslie Fish said...

Hi, Spear! If you live here in the Valley of the Sun, I'll be happy to oblige; just give me fair warning. And be careful; I might talk you into leaving with a cat, or two (take two; they're small!). Phone: 602-373-0320. Email: lesliefish@cox.net

Hi, Nomad! Ah well, I'll give Lee some leeway(!) because she's earned a lot of Idiosyncratic Credit for her service to the filking community.

Hi, Jim! Actually, I parodized this straight off the original "I Was Not A Nazi Polka"; I only heard the "I Am Not A Ninja" filk once, and not clearly enough to get all the words.

Hi, Nat! What tickles me most (I'll probably do my next blog-post about it) is the way political Left/Right definitions had melted and blurred since the '60s. Back then, it was so easy to tell which were which; nowadays, it's the so-called Liberals who are the humorless Jew-hating PC Arab-lovers, and the so-called Conservatives who defend Jews and Blacks the Bill of Rights and have the stinging sense of humor. Note that Milo Yannapopolos gets the same treatment now that Lenny Bruce got then. Come to think of it, would today's Leftists tolerate(!) Lenny Bruce's famous rap: "Are there any Niggers here tonight? Stand up, stand up!"?

On arrogance, no question: it's not funny. IIRC, the oldest of the Christian churches considers it the deadliest of the 7 Deadly Sins, and for good reason. The problem is who's got the most of it, and why.